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Submitted on
October 18, 2012
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The Piano Facade by threedayweekend The Piano Facade by threedayweekend

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:bulletblack::bulletblue:This is a short story about a dystopian world and a museum employee. My head is a little woozy and I only proofread this once so forgive me if this ends up being a less than great read.:bulletblack::bulletblue:

=====================================================

Oh wow Daily Deviation! I just now proofread and fixed all the grammatical errors from when I was sick (I wasn't expecting the DD) and also changed the pdf formatting to a more enjoyable 6 inch by 6 inch layout.

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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-11-12
The Piano Facade by *thomasbisbee Suggester Writes: This is a bleak but very human dystopian story. What the writer does so well is the small details that make the story feel real. ( Suggested by futilitarian and Featured by Beccalicious )
:iconshehrozeameen:
Although this is a DD (Which is commendable in itself, and thus far greater a banner than this critique) I must emphasize that the only things which I didn't like in this work were:

the use of the word "fuck" when Art is cynically thinking. Use "damn" instead. I can understand that proof-reading is a terrible process and it takes a lot of effort to revisit old concepts, but still.

Apart from that (which played a huge impact on me as a reviewer) I feel you've written a powerful narration on the death of art as a humane emotion expressed.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
1 out of 5 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconc-allagash:
C-Allagash Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012
I was completely out of mind... I read it, I commented on it... but I didn't fav it! o.O

I hope it isn't too late to fix my mistake.
I featured you in my last journal of the year
[link]

I wish you a very Happy New Year!
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:iconthreedayweekend:
threedayweekend Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012   Writer
Thank you and happy new year!
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:iconc-allagash:
C-Allagash Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012
No wonder it was chosen as a daily deviation. Congratulations!

I like this text, especially this part "Art walked through the narrow glass tube hall and knew that no instrument behind a glass case can show beauty. The beauty emerges from usage."
It's obvious, but I had never really thought about it.
Now I no longer feel guilty for have sold my guitar, which I've never been able to play.

A text to think about... a lot of things. I am really happy I have read it, and hope you'll still have lots of dds.
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:iconthreedayweekend:
threedayweekend Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012   Writer
Ha thanks.

Oh and I can't play any instruments either so that's totally a no guilt allowed thing :D
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:iconningyou-yume:
Ningyou-Yume Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I loved the play on words. Art Ongaku...Art Music! Very nice. xD I enjoyed this piece a lot. It made me feel sad...it showed how the Government didn't care for the music. It makes me wonder what's going to happen to the typewriters...
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:iconthreedayweekend:
threedayweekend Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012   Writer
I glad you noticed :)
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:iconeckoslime:
EckoSlime Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
What does "Façade" means? >_<
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:iconthreedayweekend:
threedayweekend Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012   Writer
a facade is the face of a building, but can mean the superficial face of anything:

[link]
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:iconeckoslime:
EckoSlime Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Facade is the same as Façade? I thought that Façade was related to lying or pretending something... I'm not sure =P
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:iconthreedayweekend:
threedayweekend Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012   Writer
Yeah I think it's the same. Well it can be used figuratively like that, which was why I picked the titles "The Piano Facade" so it's sort of a play on words because even though there is literally pianos on the exterior of the building, it is kind of a false propaganda.

I hope that makes sense I might be rambling :D
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