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The Piano Facade by threedayweekend The Piano Facade by threedayweekend

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:bulletblack::bulletblue:This is a short story about a dystopian world and a museum employee. My head is a little woozy and I only proofread this once so forgive me if this ends up being a less than great read.:bulletblack::bulletblue:

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Oh wow Daily Deviation! I just now proofread and fixed all the grammatical errors from when I was sick (I wasn't expecting the DD) and also changed the pdf formatting to a more enjoyable 6 inch by 6 inch layout.

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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-11-12
The Piano Facade by *thomasbisbee Suggester Writes: This is a bleak but very human dystopian story. What the writer does so well is the small details that make the story feel real. ( Suggested by futilitarian and Featured by BeccaJS )
:iconshehrozeameen:
Although this is a DD (Which is commendable in itself, and thus far greater a banner than this critique) I must emphasize that the only things which I didn't like in this work were:

the use of the word "fuck" when Art is cynically thinking. Use "damn" instead. I can understand that proof-reading is a terrible process and it takes a lot of effort to revisit old concepts, but still.

Apart from that (which played a huge impact on me as a reviewer) I feel you've written a powerful narration on the death of art as a humane emotion expressed.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
1 out of 5 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

:iconc-allagash:
C-Allagash Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012
I was completely out of mind... I read it, I commented on it... but I didn't fav it! o.O

I hope it isn't too late to fix my mistake.
I featured you in my last journal of the year
[link]

I wish you a very Happy New Year!
Reply
:iconthreedayweekend:
threedayweekend Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012   Writer
Thank you and happy new year!
Reply
:iconc-allagash:
C-Allagash Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012
No wonder it was chosen as a daily deviation. Congratulations!

I like this text, especially this part "Art walked through the narrow glass tube hall and knew that no instrument behind a glass case can show beauty. The beauty emerges from usage."
It's obvious, but I had never really thought about it.
Now I no longer feel guilty for have sold my guitar, which I've never been able to play.

A text to think about... a lot of things. I am really happy I have read it, and hope you'll still have lots of dds.
Reply
:iconthreedayweekend:
threedayweekend Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012   Writer
Ha thanks.

Oh and I can't play any instruments either so that's totally a no guilt allowed thing :D
Reply
:iconningyou-yume:
Ningyou-Yume Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I loved the play on words. Art Ongaku...Art Music! Very nice. xD I enjoyed this piece a lot. It made me feel sad...it showed how the Government didn't care for the music. It makes me wonder what's going to happen to the typewriters...
Reply
:iconthreedayweekend:
threedayweekend Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012   Writer
I glad you noticed :)
Reply
:iconeckoslime:
EckoSlime Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
What does "Façade" means? >_<
Reply
:iconthreedayweekend:
threedayweekend Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012   Writer
a facade is the face of a building, but can mean the superficial face of anything:

[link]
Reply
:iconeckoslime:
EckoSlime Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Facade is the same as Façade? I thought that Façade was related to lying or pretending something... I'm not sure =P
Reply
:iconthreedayweekend:
threedayweekend Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012   Writer
Yeah I think it's the same. Well it can be used figuratively like that, which was why I picked the titles "The Piano Facade" so it's sort of a play on words because even though there is literally pianos on the exterior of the building, it is kind of a false propaganda.

I hope that makes sense I might be rambling :D
Reply
:iconeckoslime:
EckoSlime Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It totally makes sense, and more now that I see the title xD
You see, "Façade" is also a french word (You know, the C but with the little tail below it) but I also realized that Facade could be used in a couple of different ways of speech, that's why I was confused, but now I understand ^^
By the way! Congratulations on the DD" =D
Reply
:icontheumbraartist:
TheUmbraArtist Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
kind of like a fake act or appearance.
Reply
:iconeckoslime:
EckoSlime Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh, there we go! Thank you! ^^
Reply
:icontheumbraartist:
TheUmbraArtist Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
lol thats fine:)
Reply
:icontheskandranon:
TheSkandranon Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Now that's sad. I would die if someone took my music away. And as a piano player (albeit not a good one, lol) I would have been outraged.

Wonderful job, you really deserve the DD
Reply
:iconthreedayweekend:
threedayweekend Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012   Writer
Thanks for reading, it's appreciated.
Reply
:iconiampoetry:
iamPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Nothing short of spectacular!
Reply
:iconthreedayweekend:
threedayweekend Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012   Writer
Merci!
Reply
:iconiampoetry:
iamPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
My pleasure.
Reply
:iconx-unit:
X-Unit Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Professional Filmographer
That was horrible in the most fantastic way.
Reply
:iconthreedayweekend:
threedayweekend Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012   Writer
I love that sentence. :D
Reply
:iconx-unit:
X-Unit Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Professional Filmographer
It was my initial reaction, but I didn't think you would understand if I had said I thought it was just simply 'horrible' but that was the emotion it evoked.
Reply
:iconstyer-crisis:
Styer-Crisis Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
amazing short story. deserves the DD!. btw, how on earth did you get that purchase download button over there? >>>

that is really neat. is it a thing only for liturature?
Reply
:iconnamenotrequired:
namenotrequired Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student Interface Designer
See [link] :)
Reply
:iconsk8ter-monster:
Sk8ter-Monster Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
It's the premium content button when you submit art. You can use it for anything, not just lit.
Reply
:iconstyer-crisis:
Styer-Crisis Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
so it is for premium members only then? (cuz i honestly couldn't find it)
Reply
:iconsk8ter-monster:
Sk8ter-Monster Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Nope it's for everyone. Here's instructions:
1.) Click Submit Art
2.) Upload your content
3.) Look to your right, there's a premium content box, check it
4.) Continue to submit as you usually do
5.) You will be taken to a page where you upload additional art that can be sold for however many points you choose. (The for sale content has to offer something other than the art you posted. It can be other art relating to what you posted or edits of it.)
Reply
:iconarunknathan:
arunknathan Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:trophy: Good work and congrats on the DD. :)
Reply
:iconthreedayweekend:
threedayweekend Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012   Writer
Gracias amigo.
Reply
:iconarunknathan:
arunknathan Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
de nada :)
Reply
:iconilleatyourself:
IllEatYourself Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is rather unique! Kinda sucks that this guy had no say in what the government did with his things though. Anyway, from one writer to another, I would like to say that you did a great job, and was wondering if I could get your opinion on a poem I posted last night.
Reply
:iconthreedayweekend:
threedayweekend Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012   Writer
Yeah sure I'll check it out.
Reply
:iconilleatyourself:
IllEatYourself Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Cool!
Reply
:iconnyiana-sama:
Nyiana-sama Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
:la: Congrats on the daily deviation!
Reply
:iconthreedayweekend:
threedayweekend Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012   Writer
Gracias
Reply
:iconnyiana-sama:
Nyiana-sama Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012
:huggle: You're welcome!
Reply
:iconlediskko0fwoe:
lediskko0fWOE Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
Not my pianos.
Reply
:iconthreedayweekend:
threedayweekend Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012   Writer
Good, stand up to government propaganda machines!
Reply
:iconmewpheebee:
mewpheebee Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student General Artist
Even though it was short, I enjoyed it a lot :)
Congrats on the DD! :hug:
Reply
:iconthreedayweekend:
threedayweekend Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012   Writer
Thanks :)
Reply
:iconmewpheebee:
mewpheebee Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Student General Artist
No problem! :)
Reply
:iconmotherofsephy:
motherofsephy Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I saw quite a few grammatical/spelling errors.
Reply
:iconthreedayweekend:
threedayweekend Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012   Writer
Yeah, sorry. I just now proofread this and fixed them. I wasn't expecting the DD!
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the well deserved DD! :heart:
Reply
:iconthreedayweekend:
threedayweekend Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012   Writer
:D
Reply
:iconreflectionsinwater:
reflectionsinwater Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Wonderfully written :heart: The ending needs a little work because it transitions a bit quick, but the rest is wonderfully detailed :D
Reply
:iconthreedayweekend:
threedayweekend Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012   Writer
:)
Reply
:iconbrassteeth:
brassteeth Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
Congratulations on your D.D!
Interesting read!
Reply
:iconthreedayweekend:
threedayweekend Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012   Writer
Thanks!
Reply
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October 18, 2012
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